Oscar Live Blog.

8:20pm: Oscar live blog begins. I don't know that I'm qualified to do this, but I've always kind of wanted to. So, this will be a large collection of craziness and comments about dresses, who looks hot, how Robert Downey Jr. got robbed, and how Wolverine does as a host. Let's GET IT ON.

8:28pm: First prediction - For Best Supporting Actress (which I think is first), I call Viola Davis for Doubt.

8:30pm: Alright, time to wow me Weapon X.

8:31pm: Is it weird that it creeps me out when he talks in his normal accent? ROBERT DOWNEY JR! THAT'S MAH BOY!

8:32pm: Ok, he's actually pretty funny. Sweet lord, he's going to sing.

8:35: Laughing at "pubic hair." He's awesome.

8:36: I feel that Anne Hathaway is just attractive enough to not be threatening to women, and thus all women love her. Me? Boooooorrrrring.

8:37: HE'S LAUGHING AT HIMSELF! Ok, when Jimmy Fallon does it? Annoying. When Wolver-fucking-ine does it, it's charming.

8:39: He calls himself Wolverine, and he can sing. This man is my fucking idol.

8:41: Is it wrong that Brad Pitt's hair looks more put together than most of the men nominated? Also, Streep's daughter - smoking hot.

8:41: THE CURTAINS DON'T OPEN! Did anyone else feel a little gut punch? I did!

8:43: I think Whoopie killed and ate that dress on the way over. Sweet fucking lord. Viola Davis is all choked up!

8:45: I think Whoopie has Foghorn Leghorn tattooed on her boob. Also, she's still damn funny. I feel slightly bad I made fun of her horrendous ugly terrible dress now.

8:47: Annnnnnnd I'm wrong. Son of a. Awwww, she's all nervous! I can't stand her voice. Oh DON'T SHARE IT WITH YOUR NOMINEES! WHAT A STUPID THING TO SAY! Oh thanks Penny! I didn't win, but I get part of yours! Can I have the head? YAY!

Eh, congrats. WHOA, some dude's screaming.

Mom's tearing up.

Eh.

8:50: Animated feature coming up. I've only seen Kung Fu Panda, and it was fantastic. Wall-E is on the list though. I think Wall-E will probably take it, Disney/Pixar has the cash to do the most vocal angling for their film, and it's a far touchier subject. 0/1 so far...Oh SON OF A BITCH...I just bit my own tongue eating Ben & Jerry's. Ow Ow Ow.

8:53 - Fey and Martin...good pair. This is right up my alley. Best Screenplay, I say Original - Milk, Adapted - Slumdog.

8:55: The way they're doing these Oscars is far cooler than usual. I love this screenplay bit. Man. Milk was fantastic.

8:57: Yeah Milk! 1/2! Aww, he's sad! You get married boy!

8:59: Martin and Fey are pretty damn funny. Why does SNL suck so much with these people out there? Also, Slumdog wins! 2/3 bitches! IN YOUR FACE.

9:03: Annnnd Jack Black reads my mind. Also, it's amazing that you can't see the daggers shooting from Angelina Jolie's eyes into Jennifer Aniston's face.