Wednesday, September 19, 2007

15 hours.

I slept for 15 hours yesterday. Woke up, grabbed a burrito that the Mrs. Crat brought home for me, devoured it while watching Biggest Loser, and went back to bed.

Eating while watching Biggest Loser is fantastic by the way. You just sit there all bloated and full and content and watch these people work their asses off to get healthy. Of course, it's easy for me to say this, as I was born with the metabolism of a sugar addicted, ADD inflicted squirrel, so I could probably eat a small cow with no ill effects.

Anyway, the reason I slept yesterday is because I was on a trip this weekend, and cannot for the life of me sleep in hotel rooms alone.

I'm not sure if it's the mind-crushingly boring loneliness of them, or the fact that when I recall them from a few years back, you could typically sit there and just cruise a few movie channels and chill out with some HBO.

Now it's all pay per view - 8 bucks for this brand new movie bullshit. I just want to see some second rate crap film man, not Spider-Man 3. Oh wait, same thing. ZINGAH!

Hotel rooms alone are like prison. Throw in a few flights, and some business stuff, and you see why I was bone-crushingly exhausted.

Also, and this is a bitch of a thing, my stomach has been weaker than Andy Dick in a fight against Jon Lovitz lately. I used to get travel sick if I hadn't eaten anything before going on a drive or a flight, but that hasn't happened in years. Now with my new weak wristed excuse for a digestion system, I was terrified that I'd have a mid-air incident of projectile.

For instance - at my buddy's pre wedding ceremony golf outing, I ate a bagel with some mildly sun drenched and nasty cream cheese, and puked for hours. I mean, come on! I came home from a sox game, and after eating some peanuts and sausages, felt like I was going to die for 3 hours. I used to do shots of hot sauce at my college job people! Why is my stomach so pissed at me?

These are the things that plague me, dear reader (readers if anyone is here to see what the nutbag with the green hat on NFT is talking about).

I do highly suggest a 15 hour nap now and again. I had the most FUCKED dreams, and they were epic. Days worth of randomness, that in reality was probably contained in small 15 minute bouts. Enough of this though. I'm heading home. JAPANESE FOOD PLZ.

Monday, September 17, 2007

Hi NFT'ers.

Well, my bio popped up on the NFT website, so I might have more than 1 reader in the next few weeks.

This is me waving to you.

Monday, September 10, 2007

Faced.

On a side note - I just checked the movie list.

I'm currently at 1132. That's 132 more than Mr. Notalentclown on Jeopardy wanted to get to.

Suck it junior. You just got FACED.

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

IT'S THE FINAL BLOG-DOWN!

DOO DEE DOOO DOOOOOO!

etc.

Hi kids. Missed me? No?

Oh right, no one reads this thing. Oh well.

I've given up on the listing of movies on here, mostly because it's just a pain in the ass to keep reconfiguring the margins. Don't fret pets, as I'm still inhaling them at breakneck speed.

I'm at about 1200, give or take. My goal is to hit 2000 before the Mrs. Infocrat and I start to spawn, and I'm forced to watch Dora the Explorer for 4 hours a day.

The real reason behind my sudden re-emergence into the harsh light of self publication is that I've just been hired as a contributor for the Not For Tourists guides, and I feel a deep need to have something available for my soon to be adoring fans to come visit. Now that I actually might have an audience to support, maybe I can update this thing more than once a quarter?

Doubtful, but we'll try.

Rock on,

X